MINION QUOTES ONLINE

OTHER MINION QUOTE

• I’m not lazy, I’m in non-energy saving mode.
• I might be single, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have love in my life.
• Life is so boring without a phone.
• This is me every time I see a cute dog meme.
• I’m not single, I’m just really picky and no one has met my standards yet.

• Actually, The quickest way to fix that annoying noise in your car is … Just to open the door and push her out.
• Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, “dad was a good parent…mom was a good parent…the problem is me,
• A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world …Oh sorry …That`s wine …Wine does that.

• If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
• In a perfect world, Taco Bell would deliver…
• The pharmacist asked me about my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
• I just assume that when a restaurant automatically adds 15% to the bill for a tip that the service is going to suck.
• People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
• I got in touch with my masculine side today – laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games…
• Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
• My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.

• I’m so funny, I’m not even sure if this is funny or not.
• I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
• That awkward moment when you realize that you’ve been using “your” instead of “you’re” for the past year

• I can always tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
• You can turn anything into a compliment if you’re delusional enough.
• My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
• Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?
• I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
• Im already getting into the Thanksgiving spirit,
• I’ve given the bird to lots of people today.
• Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
• I bet there’s a rapper trying to figure out a way to replace his teeth with LED lights
• The Patriot’s defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
• I think my smartphone is making fun of me behind my back.
• How do Amish girls know if it`s a romantic candle-lit dinner or just a regular one #DeepThoughts
• Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet….
• We all have that one friend who needs to learn how to whisper

• Please don’t tell me to talk.
• I hate you but don’t hate me.
• Do not get fit.
• Fit is fat as I can’t say no to food.
• If you say no to the food you are stupid.
• I love food so much that I might as well marry it.
• I’m not fat, I’m just easy to see.
• I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.
• Food is my life.
• I love food more than I love people.
• I’m not fat, I’m full of food.
• I know I am funny no need to tell me.
• I can just make everyone laugh.
• Humor is God’s gift for mankind.
• Rule 1 I am right, but if I am wrong, read rule 1.
• If you can’t make fun of yourself, then who can you make fun of?
• I’m sorry for what I said because I am funny.
• I am not an idiot alone.
• I’m funny because I’m happy.
• Funny is my middle name.
• My sense of humor is like a dry martini. Straight up, with a twist!