MINION QUOTES ONLINE

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famous minion quotes online

Here are some famous minion quotes online :

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I’ve been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f’ck that up?
I hate it when people beg for likes, like if you agree.
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
I love my six-pack so much, that I protect it with a layer of fat.
Damn… I’m having an out-of-money experience.
My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them in person.
Random Thought: How do bats hang upside down without crapping on themselves?
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than l anticipated..go figure.
I’ve been catfishing my best friend for the last 3 weeks. He’s gonna pay me that $50 he owes me or I’m showing these emails to his wife.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I’m going to visit.
There’s nothing more terrifying than accidentally making eye contact with a mall kiosk worker.
I’d get lost less frequently if GPS would say “no, your other left.”
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone else’s house, and seeing the water rise.

I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up.
It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
Everything happens for a reason. That’s why I drink to everything!
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apparently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
Dont let Facebook fool you we ain’t friends
We should’ve let the guy who named oranges to keep naming other stuff.
Chocolate comes from Cocoa, which is a tree. That makes cOCoa a plant…chocolate is a salad.
Getting drunk and listening to loud music solves 87% of all life’s problems
Sometimes just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
Doc: “How’s your headache ?” Me: “She’s at home
Office thermostats only have 2 settings: hellfire and hypothermia.
Hmmmmm, Turns out that all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
I just want to be rich enough to be referred to as eccentric instead of crazy.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.

“Im on my way.” -People who have even left the house yet.
I don’t hate you. I just hope your next period happens while you’re in a shark tank!
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we’re not supposed to slow dance?
Math questions are so stupid! They’re like “If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have? Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?
I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.
Ever get the feeling someone is watching you when you sleep? Yeah, Sorry about that.
Despite the old saying, “Don’t take your troubles to bed”, many women still sleep with their husbands.
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but l just couldn’t pull it off..
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone’s talking to you so you reply to them, then they look at you weird
Pork is awesome, but it’s best when used as a verb.
Hawaii is a great place to live if you hate being eligible for contests.

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