If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Water is the most essential element of life, because, without water, you can’t make coffee,
My mom never allowed violent video games. Just family-friendly board games with questions like, “Who murdered this guy with a pipe?
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
wanted to say thank you to all the people who gave me a reason to drink this Friday night.
I’ll be back before you can pronounce actillimandataquerin altosapaoyabayadoondib ab!
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.
if you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I’m trying to unlock it more than two times, I’m driving off without you.
In a new study women with large aSSes live longer. the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
I just keep telling myself you guys don t have sex either.
Today everything gets answered by the magic eight ball
Every time I see a person jogging I already know they have Facebook, everyone on Facebook works out.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
Please please, keep talking. I always yawn when I’m interested…
