MINION QUOTES ONLINE ON INSTAGRAM
- What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
- Everyone has fitness goals and I’m over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.
- I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
- Rapper “Im killing them snitches, smacking them bitches, smoking blunts and f’ckin hoes!” “wins award” Rapper: “I just wanna thank god.”
- You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
- Poetry would be a lot harder if violets were orange.
- The moment of triumph when your bag is the first off the plane.
- I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato.
- When I was on the plane the stewardess asked, do you need some headphones? I said, Hell Yeah, but how did you know my name was Phones?
- I hate it when spiders just sit there acting like they pay rent.
- Taught a man how to buy fish. So much easier.
- Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
- If you receive something that says, ‘Send it to all your friends”, then please don’t consider me as your friend.
- Holy sh!t Karma, how much longer till we’re all squared up?