Skip to content


Minion Quotes Online to make your day

If you love minions and need a read to make your day this page will keep you entertained. We have compiled a list of funny, Motivational, Inspirational, Sad, and minion quotes Online. Minions are unforgettable characters apart of illumination entertainment Despicable me Movie Sequel.

minion quotes


Here are some random minion quotes online :

  • “Things to do today: 1. Get up. 2. Survive. 3. Go back to bed.”
  • “I hate it when people are at your house and ask ‘Do you have a bathroom?’ No, we pee in the yard.”
  • “Alcohol does not make you fat it makes you lean… Against tables, chairs, floors, walls, and ugly people.”
  • “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”
  • “The best feeling is waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you still have hours to sleep.”
  •  “There should be an app so you can delete your number out of other people’s phones.”
  • “The best thing about me… I’m a limited edition. There are no other copies! Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord!”
  • “I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.”
  • “Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.”
  • “I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.”
  •  “I don’t like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else about what comes out of my mouth.”
  • “Love me and I’ll move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head”
  •  “If a bra is an “over the shoulder boulder holder” then what would you call the men’s underwear? Under the butt nut hut?”
  • “Never sing in the shower singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked, so remember don’t sing”
  •  “Don’t give me your attitude unless you want mine!!”
  •  “My tolerance level is extremely low proceed with caution!”
  •  “You know you’re getting old when you feel bad in the morning without having had any fun the night before!”
  • “Warning! A virus called Monday is fast approaching. There is no cure. Just drink plenty of alcohol on Sunday night to ease the pain!”
  • “Every day at work I wonder if this is going to be the day I accidentally scream: “Shut the F*ck up” out loud instead of just in my head.”
  • “Life is all about ass. You’re either covering it, laughing it off, kissing it, kicking it busting it, trying to get a piece of it behaving like one… Or, you live with one!!!”
  • “Respect your parents. They passed school without Google!”
  • “I might look like I’m doing nothing but in my head, I’m quite busy.”
  • “Don’t worry about getting older. You still get to do stupid things, only slower.”
  • “I love my six-pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.”
  • “There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.”
  • “Heck, yes, I’m short god only lets things grow until they’re perfect some of us didn’t take as long as others.”
  • “If God shuts a door, quit banging on it! Whether it was behind it, wasn’t meant for you. Consider the fact that maybe he closed that door because he knew you were worth so much more.”
  • “The best thing about me… I’m a limited edition. There are no other copies! Bet you’re thinking thank the good lord!” 
  • “Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.”
  •  “Take life day by day and be grateful for all little things. Don’t get stressed over what you can’t control.”
  • “Have you ever noticed that in every group of friends, the shortest one is usually the craziest.”
  • “I’m with stupid” Do you have any? When people ask at you
  • “I was going to do something, then I got distracted for 5 seconds and forgot.”
  •  “My 4 moods: I’m too old for this shit. I’m too tired for this shit. I’m too sober for this shit. I don’t have time for this shit!”
  • “They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.”
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17