MINION QUOTES ONLINE - Page 5 of 17

Cannibals don t drink coffee. They have a cup of Joe instead.
Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving the party at 9.:30
Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self-pleasuring. l accidentally
honked like 8 times.
Forecast for today: Unproductive with a chance of a late drinking session.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
Having a toddler IS like harboring a bipolar, schizophrenic, incontinent, adorable, tiny dictator.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
If someone tells you it’s better than the sex they re not doing the sex right.
Let’s not kid ourselves, if the zombie apocalypse broke out, there are a couple of people we would swear were
zombies so we could shoot them
why would anyone want a baby? t’s just another thing you have to clean
Was that lightning?… No, they’re taking pictures for Google Earth.
If each day is a gift, I wonder where I can return Monday.
When I’m bored, I like to superglue Doritos to my cat and make it run around the house like a stegosaurus.
The irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.