Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.

Sarcasm helps keep people from understanding you’re saying what you really think of them.

I once prayed to God for a bike but quickly found out He didn’t work that way—so I stole a bike and prayed for His forgiveness.

A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station…

You can’t be late until you show up.

War doesn’t determine who’s right—it determines who’s left.

If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.